Song: No - One

[Loosen Up]

Hey guys,

i just wrote this song like an hour ago, didn't take very long to finish, it's a bit sketchy but i like it. It's about a child prositute who slowly feels like she's dying on the inside. I took some inspiration from the song "Long Way To Happy" By P!nk off her album "I'm Not dead" but i wrtoe everything. Hope you guys like it.

Verse One:

I stare up blankly at the ceiling,
& the only thing I'm feeling,
Is the pain buried deep down inside,
Something I Thought I could hide,

But slowly it's bleaching my skin,
& quickly it's pulling me in,
Wiping me away bit by bit,
Slowly, I am becoming a part of it,

& I don't know what to do,
This is all because of you,

Chorus: (x2)

Look what you've gone & done,
You've made me into no-one,
& I know you don't care for me,
Please, just let me be, let me be,

I just feel so unimportant,
& you waltz in without warning,
& I know you don't care for me,
Please, just let me be, let me be,

Verse 2:

Slowly it's taking me,
I'm wondering what I will be,
Nothing will ever be the same,
To you? Is this just all a game?

& only now I've realised,
The feeling I get down inside,
That kills me bit by bit,
& theres no chance stopping it,

& I don't know what to do,
This is all because of you,

Chorus: (x2)

Bridge:

It's killing me,
leave me alone, I'm lonely,
Now theres no hope for me,
I'm dieing can't you see,
& It's all because of you,
You've numbed me so theres nothing I can do,

Chorus: (x2)

END

lol, feedback peoples!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOWWWWWWWWWWW lol, make it interesting! Also tell me if you liked this song better or my last one "Stars" thanks guys!!!!

[taylor]

im surprised this only took you a short amount of time, i actually like it more than "stars"!!! lyrically it is a very good song, in particular i like the first verse, and i feel this is a strong point in your song. if i were to add anything, i would add more background about prostitution, because this song could be just about a break up between two people. i think if you put just like one line refrencing paid sex it would make the meaning clearer, and add more depth to the song.

great job! keep them coming!

[Loosen Up]

ahhhh yep i see your point, i will as i said it was sketchy!!!!!! So i want advice! Ok so i'll add a line here and there maybe add like a build up in beteen the verse and chorus.

[Cooby]

It's a cool song, though, in my opinion, it's kinda of common lyrics of nowadays. But that doesn't make it bad, at least you managed it pretty well, I like it... and LOL, there's nothing in the song telling me it was about a prostitute kid , It could be about whoever feeling bad!

[Kimmy26]

This is a deeper side i've seen to the 'OMGZZ!! LAMO!! SHIZZZZLE' side of you Mat Very nice i think you did a groovy job, but like Juan and Taylor said i think it would be much better if you added some background info about the prostitute, maybe how desperate she is and had to stoop to something so low as selling herself for money. I like how the lyrics followed that kind of aabb ccdd rhyme scheme if you get what i mean?
But overall i liked it, not bad for a quick sketch poem!!

[Loosen Up]

lol i just re did the second verse so its about her and the prostituion about feeding her family and how shes slwoly lost her innocence and stuff and im also thinking about changing the name! to because of you or something like that it fits better and im also working on the bridge ill post the new version in a seocnd....