Please Look at this.....I need some advice

[furtado-freak]

Hey, once again I have writen a new song, please people can you read it, and answer the following questoins, coz i relly do want to improve kay...be brutal!

1.What it first makes you think of,
2.What you like about it,
3.What you dislike about it
4.Fav Line,
5.What Do you think it is about,
6.how to imporve it



WHY

[SIZE=3]You expected me to give all that I've got,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]But what do I get in return?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]A broken heart and a bag of nails,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Lie cold in your coffin, as I seal you in.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]A few months later, I’ll stare at the sky,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Pretending that you’d never existed,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]But every time that I close my eyes,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]I feel a piece of me is missing.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Can somebody please tell me?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Why oh why,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Does love hurt like this?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Why oh why,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Do I keep replaying our first kiss?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]And where oh where,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Have you gone my baby?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]I need you here beside me x2[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Tell me why.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]I’m crushed by a loneliness that will not relent.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] I spend the day laughing and joking with friends, [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]All the while praying for this day to end. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Then I will sit in the darkness and curse [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]The day that I first saw your face in the crowd. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]I suppose we never thought that it would end like this,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]You six feet under, and I a total mess, [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]I wish I could die and go to heaven,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]So I can stand up next to you my baby[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Can somebody please tell me?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Why oh why,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Does love hurt like this?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Why oh why,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Do I keep replaying our first kiss?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]And where oh where,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Have you gone my baby?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]I need you here beside me x2[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Tell me why.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]