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Let your creativity flow... Poems, songs, artistic imagery, photography, creative writing. Be creative!

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Old 18th Dec 04   #1
Nikki
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I haven't written in a while.

So, I'm kind of rusty, but I wrote this today. I'm not entirely happy with it, but it's better than nothing, I guess. Anyway, it's untitled as of yet.

I'll swallow myself down again,
"You're not the solution", you claim.
You have me right where you want me; broken in two,
Screaming out your name, I can't believe I needed you.
Twisted shards of broken reality are slicing at my skin,
Red heartache flows down and patience wears me thin.
I shouldn't have to prove myself to you, you should accept
I am who I am and that my choices are my own to regret.

These bruises and scars are reminders I'll fade in time.
Memories I cling to; I think to the time you left me behind.
Bitter and confused, alone, but I've lost myself in you.
Time and time again I reach for the words, "I love you."
Meaningless words that I spit out, hoping for a reprieve,
Choke myself on the ashes of that which I used to believe.
I watch you walk away out of my life, watching the credits fade,
I wish I could rewind and play this exact same scene over again.
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Old 19th Dec 04   #2
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Thumbs up Re: great writing

I like it, you know how to descibe so utterly descriptively, i.e brings it to life. So honest and piercing, if that makes sense. :xsmile:
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Old 19th Dec 04   #3
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Re: I haven't written in a while.

Why, thankyou, my little country bumpkin.
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Old 20th Dec 04   #4
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Re: I haven't written in a while.

wow, I wish I can write like that. haven't lost ur touch
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Old 20th Dec 04   #5
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Re: I haven't written in a while.

Spank you very much!
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Old 20th Dec 04   #6
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Re: I haven't written in a while.

*sigh*
i have this thing where i can always connect with your writing, and you know that. and this time, it's so powerful and overwhelming.. more than ever.. it's wonderful ginga, amazing.. i love it
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Old 20th Dec 04   #7
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Re: I haven't written in a while.

wow thats really good, i luv the use of emotive language as well!
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Old 31st Dec 04   #8
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Re: I haven't written in a while.

Yeah a bit rusty compared to your others.
But still BITS worthy.
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Old 31st Dec 04   #9
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A bit rusty? Why is that? would you care to elaborate, please?
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Old 7th Jan 05   #10
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Re: I haven't written in a while.

Well maybe it's me, but it doesn't seem to leap up from the page and strike me in the heart like the others, not saying that there isn't any heart. But compared to the others, it just doesn't seem fluent enough.
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