[Nikki]

Addiction

She bleeds + bleeds, red runs down her arms
Blood seeps from a wound that will soon become a scar
Months of never-ending frustration
Shattered with the blade of concentration
She stares as drops of scarlet become rivulets
She prays it won't heal + that she won't forget

I know you won't understand, this stinging eases my pain
It blots out all the anguish, the despair + the shame
Just like a bad movie in my head, it plays over again
I realise this is an addiction that I cannot tame

The humiliation of being permanently rejected
Has left her feeling low + dejected
She can't put into syllables + words
Feelings she gets when it's only her that's hurts
She no longer trembles as metal slices skin
Convinced this is penance for all her worldly sins

I know you won't understand, this stinging eases my pain
It blots out all the anguish, the despair + the shame
Just like a bad movie in my head, it plays over again
I realise this is an addiction that I cannot tame

Years have passed + she's always starting afresh
Never learns from past mistakes, she makes them again
Weighed down through a sense of worthlessness
cause she can't see beauty through bitterness
She'll keep cutting + cutting until she goes
Innocent enough to believe nobody knows

Utopia

That time, we lay together on the grass
I felt, intrinsically, we were built to last
We dance together + appreciate the stars
I look at you + think we've come so far
I know what you think + how it's gonna be phrased
You let your eyes tell me everything you're too shy to say
You can't run on + run out
cause I can live with, but not without

Sometimes, you're so unaware of how perfect you are
You never believe me when I tell you; you are
So I hold you closely as you sleep
Wondering if I'm in too deep
But, I'd rather drown
Than ever climb out

I'll always remember these nights forever
That lost weekend we spent together
The way you kept one side of the bed warm
The way you fall asleep as I hold you in my arms
I love the way you finish my sentences, before they even have a chance to start
I'm forever in love with the way you take my hand + place it over your heart
cause I love you + I love your scars
I love you + I love the way you are

Sometimes, you're so unaware of how perfect you are
You never believe me when I tell you; you are
So I hold you closely as you sleep
Wondering if I'm in too deep
But, I'd rather drown
Than ever climb out