This one always makes me laugh:
"And while we're on the subject of f@!k. I just wanna say that f@!k is not a bad word. f@!k is a good word! f@!k is the reason I am here. f@!k is the reason you are here. If your mum and dad did not f@!k you would not be here okay?! So get over it o-f@!king-kay?!"
M.
*Pedro runs from Carlo and Peter*